As Boris Johnson hides behind a door at Downing Street, I investigate what’s going down in the political minds of today’s youth. Because who better to discuss the current political landscape with than a group of eighteen-year-olds? Fresh, innovative voices. The new generation of voters. The future of politics.
Refreshingly raw and candid, the below survey captures the serious responses of a number of serious students to a series of serious political questions.
Disclaimer: This is very serious.
Me: Firstly, how would you describe our Prime Minister in three words?
Person 1: “The Class Clown”
Person 2: “What, Boris? Ugh.”
Person 3: *unintelligible ranting noises*
Person 4: “Extremely inadequate”. That’s two words. Jeez, fine. “He is a liability”, then. That’s four.
Me: You get an invite to a party at No. 10. Are you going?
Person 1: “No”
Person 2: “Nah”
Person 3: “yeah, I wanna see what really goes down”
Person 4: “If Nigel Farage was there”. Why? “Do you really want me to answer that?”
Me: More importantly, will you be bringing the vibes to said party?
Person 1: “100%”
Person 2: “Um, of course?”
Person 3: “ I think they have that covered already. Haven’t you seen the videos?”
Person 4: “Yes, and an army of gate-crashers”
Me: Downing Street is on fire. Boris can save one thing. What is he saving?
Person 1: “oh, that’s a hard one”
Person 2: “Good question”. Thanks. “Can you come back to me?”. Sure.
Person 3: “A wine and cheese gift basket from his most recent sesh”
Person 4: “what am I allowed to say on here again? Depends. Can I say his side chick?”
Me: Trivia Round. How many kids does Boris Johnson have?
Person 1: “oh, it’s got to be fifty plus”
Person 2: “seven, right?”
Person 3: “who knows”
Person 4: “I don’t know…what’s the population of Leamington Spa?”
Me: Finally, who would you like to see as the next PM? You can pick anyone.
Person 1: “Obama”. Good choice, both of them.
Person 2: “Ben Shephard”. Why? “Cos’ he’s hot?”
Person 3: “Gemma Collins because-” No, there’s no need to expand.
Person 4: “Ed Milliband”. Why? “Labour”. Right, silly me.
Some other people decide to get involved.
Person 5: “KSI. Yeah. I think that’d be pretty cool”
Person 6: “Ian Wright”. Oh, my mum met him once. “Really?”. What, you think I’d lie? I’m not a politician.
Person 7: “James Corden”. This response was subject to much criticism.
Person 8: “Eamonn Holmes. He’s, like, a cute guy”. Right. Yeah. No, totally.
Person 9: “Zeina Sultani”. Who’s that? “A politician”. Good, just testing your knowledge.
Person 10: “Joey Essex. He keeps it real”
Person 11: “David Attenborough”. OMG YES. Ok, survey over. Thank you for your time.